32 Stories
by Quistis de Valentine
Summary: Another classic Quistis tale. This time, I've tried to capture her whole life and what would a Quistis tale be without Squall? I tried and I tried to give her a happy ending, but then I thought: What if Quistis isn't meant to have a happy ending?


32 Stories

By Quistis

I do not own the song '32 Stories', it was written by Bret Domrose for his band Dogstar. All the characters belong to Squaresoft and whoever else was responsible for Final Fantasy 8. 

_I know I'm here with you tonight_

_Could I be holding you too tight_

_Just say the word and I'll let go_

_We want the best for you, you know_

_32 stories in the sky _

_We saw a brilliant sunrise_

_It kinda hit us by surprise_

_And shined it's beauty in your eyes_

_I will hold you can't you see_

_All the things you mean to me_

_Like the flowers and the trees_

_Can we smile eternally _

Quistis Trepe looked out of her bedroom window. The sun had just set and there was a beautiful reddish light surrounding everything. The sea, the sky, even the lonely shadow of a bird that flew across it. She was calm. It was the first time in quite a while. Her adventure with Squall and the rest of the people that had become her closest friends was over. They had won and things seemed to get back to normal. She always felt a little lost after a mission was over, especially a mission like this which had taken all her attention for so long. Insecure about what to do next, she talked her situation over with Cid who gave her the old job back. She had proven more that qualified, he said with a smile, obviously happy to have her back in his staff. She thanked him, and was mentally kicking herself for having to fake a smile. She loved her job, she really did, but something was missing. As long as she kept busy, she didn't think much about it, but you can't escape your own mind. 

Quistis turned away from the window and sat down at her desk, getting back as an instructor also meant a lot of work and she had to grade the new SeeD's and write a report for her friends about the mission they had completed. She sighed and got started. First up was Selphie. She was happy to write that Selphie had done an excellent job and was well qualified as a SeeD, but that she also cared about the people she worked with which was an important quality in a SeeD. Next up was Zell. Quistis smiled. 

"Hmm, what am I going to write about Zell," she said, mostly to break the silence that was starting to bother her. She got up and turned on the radio at a random channel before getting back to work. 

'Zell Dincht is a eager SeeD, always ready to help people. He is trustworthy and above average when it comes to fighting skills. A fine SeeD that can only get better with time.' Quistis dropped the pen and took a look at what she had been writing. Yeah, it seemed to suit Zell. It wasn't her job to deliver a report for Irvine and Rinoa, and Seifer hadn't participated as a SeeD in this mission, and now he would never be one. The thought saddened Quistis a little since he was somewhat a friend and a good fighter. 'A loss for the Garden', she thought. But still this meant there was one more person she was responsible for Squall. 

Just the name made her shiver. For as long as she could remember she had liked Squall. As a crazed teenager she would even go as far to say she had loved him. It had always been him, from the first time she laid eyes on him, the shy, little eleven year old that came to the Garden alone one day. She was twelve at the time and had lived there for almost a year, and the first time she saw him it said 'boom'. Literally. His dark hair and icy blue eyes put a spell on her. She had never even looked at a boy like that before, didn't even know she could feel like this about anyone. She wanted to be his friend, at least make him notice her and she had heard some of the other girls talk about their 'boyfriends'. Could he be her boyfriend? He was a boy and if she was his friend, wouldn't that make him her boyfriend? The twelve year old Quistis didn't know because she didn't have any male friends. She knew Xu and a couple of other girls, but they were all older than her, talking about boys, clothes and how being a SeeD would make them really popular and things that really didn't interest her, but she knew she would be a SeeD someday. She would be a SeeD so she could protect her adoptive parents. 

Quistis, the grown Quistis, shook her head to clear her thoughts, this wasn't what she was supposed to be doing. But it was hard to stop the memories when they decided to come. All her life had been this long wait. She waited for something to happen, something that would change her whole life. She grabbed the pen and started writing.

'Squall Leonhart is a remarkable person. How can someone be so distant and so close at the same time? Squall Leonhart' 

Squall Leonhart The fifteen year old Quistis wasn't paying any attention to what the teacher was saying. She was in the middle of a daydream where she and Squall just had graduated as SeeD's and were dancing the night away at the ball they held for the new SeeD's. She could feel his hands around her waist, his check against hers, he whispering sweet nothings into her ear this was heaven on earth. 

"And what is the best way to cure a poisonous cut? Ms. Terpe?" the teacher asked. 

"Huh?" Quistis jerked at the mention of her name. 

"Do you know the answer?"

"I I could you repeat the question please?" the blonde girl said while a weak blush started to show in her face. 

"What is the best way to cure a poisonous cut? I assume you know the answer. You are one of the few who is actually going to graduate this year. So, Ms. Trepe, we are waiting."

"Eh I believe it is Antidote, Miss." 

"That is correct. If we all now would follow Ms. Trepe's example and actually pay attention and maybe even write down the things I say I would" The older SeeD began, and Quistis looked down at her notebook. It was covered with words, but maybe not the things you expect in a schoolbook. One word was written over and over again, sometimes decorated with little hearts, sometimes with flowers, but it couldn't hide the fact that Quistis Trepe was hopelessly in love with Squall Leonhart. 

The three years older Quistis Trepe smiled once again over how silly she had been. She could just forget about grading papers tonight, something else was playing in her mind. She opened a drawer and took out the very same book she had been thinking of and there, on page 38 she found it. A whole page dedicated to the man she thought she loved. A childish handwriting with childish hopes. How these three years had matured her. She remembered the first time she walked into the classroom, her own classroom, with students that would learn everything about what it meant to be a SeeD from her. She remembered it like it was yesterday. The moment she looked up and saw him. Squall Leonhart was her student. At the very back row, next to Zell, he sat, looking at her. In fact everyone was looking at her, but she could only feel his eyes, and she realized, she had never had his full attention before. She had spoken to him a few times, always about school, and they had fought a creature in the Training Center together once. That was her fondest memory until that day. She had been in trouble that day, struggling with a small dinosaur that she thought she could take by herself, but as a fourteen years old, she was too young. Just when she was about to run for help, he appeared. Without a word he joined her battle and together they finished it off. 

"Thank you," she said, turning towards him. He gave her a weak smile. She smiled carefully back, and she saw he was about to leave, but she couldn't let him, not yet. "You're in Vina's class, aren't you?" she asked. She knew Vida because his little brother, Nida, was in her class and he had been training them sometimes. 

He hesitated for a second before nodding a "Yeah".

"You fight well."

"You too." 

"Me? No I mean, I thought I did, but that dinosaur I just couldn't"

"It was a tough one. Not many people could have handled it."

"You did," the blonde girl looked down while saying it, slightly embarrassed by the whole conversation.

"Yeah" It was obvious he was uncomfortable too. She broke the tension with a little laugh. 

"That's alright, you don't have to say thank you." 

He looked up and two blue eyes meet two blue eyes. "Thank you," he said quickly. 

"You're welcome."

A short silence and then "I I gotta" he said with a motion. She nodded and he was gone.

But it had been enough. From that day on she had been playing that little movie in her head, thinking back, wondering if she could have done anything different, maybe said something but she couldn't think of anything. Squall Leonhart was a unattainable goal. She accepted that thought, went on with her training and graduated as a SeeD at the age of 15. Quistis was only one of few that actually managed to become a SeeD at such young age. She had always been her teachers favorite student, always willing to learn and also teach others, and it seemed only natural when Cid asked her to become a teacher at the Garden. So she did. 

Quistis sat down on her bed and smiled. She had only fond memories from her time as a teacher. She overcame her shyness and much to her surprise, she was getting quite popular among the boys. Everything was going so well and life would have been perfect if it wasn't for the fact that was Squall Leonhart. Even now she couldn't get him out of her head. He was still a year younger than her and wasn't supposed to be a SeeD in at least a few years time and here she was, with everything she'd ever wanted and yet not completely happy. 

The eighteen year old Quistis let herself fall back on the bed and put her hands under her head. Another memory came to her, her first real conversation with Squall. She had been substituting for Vida, Squall's ordinary teacher, and it was only a few weeks ago since she got her teacher license . Quistis was still so nervous around the students, and she had only been tutoring third graders so far. To be alone with Squall's class was to put it short, a nightmare. She had spent the whole night awake, trying to figure out how to act and when she finally walked through the door she was ready for the worst. The worst never came though. 

"Good morning class, my name is Quistis Trepe and I'll be your teacher today since Vida has been called out for a mission."

Nobody said anything, they just looked curiously at her. 

"Anyhow, I thought we should take this opportunity to go outside and hunt down some Bite Bugs. Or whatever we'll find," she added. A boy raised his hand. "Yes?" she nodded towards him. 

"Aren't you a little young to be our teacher?" 

"I'm a SeeD," she answered. "That should make me qualified, but I'm sure we will find out if that's right pretty soon."

"But how old are you?" The boy didn't give up.

"I'm" she started, but got interrupted by another boy.

"Dude, it's Quistis Trepe! She's sixteen! Don't you know anything?" a blonde guy called out. 

"Thank you" she looked through the list of names. "Seifer Almasy." 

"That's me," he said with a smile. "At your service." 

"Nice to know," she gave him a smile as well. This class wasn't so bad after all. "Let's just check who's here and who's not, and then we'll get out of here." 

She started to read the students names and tried not to stop or make a move when she reached

"Squall Leonhart?" 

The dark-haired boy looked up and made a barely noticeable move with his hand. "Here, Miss." 

She felt herself get drawn into those eyes and said with her softest voice: "You can call me Quistis." The next second she got a grip on herself, cleared her throat and said: "That goes for all of you"

She went through the rest of the list without problems and soon the class were on it's way to the green plains. Quistis let the students go in front of her and was quite surprised when she heard a voice calling her name from behind.

"Miss Quistis."

She slowly turned around to face him.

"Yes Squall?"

"I you remembered my name?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "You're my hero, remember?" It was amazing how these past weeks had matured her. A year ago she wouldn't even dreamt about saying something like this. Not to Squall anyway. 

"Hero?" 

"Yeah, at the training center. Scared little fourteen year old. Big dinosaur." 

"It wasn't that big you mean that was you?" 

"You didn't recognize me?" The shock hit her like a bomb, but still it didn't hurt as much as she had expected. So Squall had never noticed her, or thought about her. And yet she kept on breathing. That was a good sign. 

"No I mean maybe. I do now. But I didn't save you."

She smiled. "Maybe. Maybe not. Guess we'll never know. But you came over here for a reason I take it? Not just to catch up on old days?" 

"No. It's my gunblade. I think it's" he didn't finish the sentence because the blonde guy from earlier, the one called Seifer, if Quistis remembered correctly, interrupted them. 

"Quistis, darling. I have a minor problem." 

She turned, much against her will, to face him. "And what would that be, Seifer?" 

"You remembered my name. I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship," he said while putting an arm around her. 

"Well," she said while removing his arm. "I don't date students." 

"Too bad, too bad. Guess Squally boy over here won't be too pleased to hear that."

"What are you talking about, Seifer?" Squall asked, not really interested. It sounded to Quistis like these boys had been going through this conversation many times. She decided to interrupt before things got out of control. Although she was dying to know what Seifer meant with that last comment. 

"Guys, Seifer" she said with a look at him. "If this was your problem I suggest you go solve it somewhere else. And Squall" She turned to him, not wanting to say this, but felt like she had to or else it would seem like she was taking ones side. "If we solved your problem as well, you should join the others and start hunting down some monsters."

"My problem is my gunblade," Squall said. "I believe _someone_ might have messed with it and now I can't get it to work." It was obvious that _someone_ was meant for Seifer who acted like he didn't know what Squall was talking about. 

"Well, I'm not going to stand here and listen to this wuss complain about a weapon he's not big enough to use, so I'll just" Seifer started while going backwards toward the others who were already busy fighting Bite Bugs.

Quistis and Squall looked at each other for a second before Quistis started laughing. "Fine. Fine. I get it. I'll just fight with my fits, ok," Squall said and she couldn't figure out if he meant it or was just trying to joke it away. 

"No," she laughed. "No, I'm sorry." She cleared her throat and continued. "It's just is he always like that?"

"Always."

"Then why do you keep up with him?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Guess not. But if your gunblade is broken, you should take it to Balamb or Deling. It might take a couple of days to get it fixed, but you do have another one in your room right?"

"Yeah." 

"So problem solved. Go get it and meet us up here later. We will probably be moving towards Balamb so if you don't see us, you know where we are."

"Sure." He started walking back to the Garden, but suddenly he turned around and said: "Thanks."

She smiled and looked down for a second while stroking her hair back from her face. "You're" she started, but he was already at the gate. 

Quistis Trepe smiled by the memory. That was only the first of many conversations she had had with Squall. She had been there when he graduated, she had helped him collect his first GF, she had saved his life at the exam. For better or worse, Squall Leonhart had become a part of her life. His friendship was one of the most treasured things she had in her life, and she realized, slowly, that it wasn't just sisterly love that had made her care for him, it was something more. Quistis remembered the shock when they found out they had grown up together. For her, all of the pieces fell in place. She had known there was a special connection between them. But then it was already too late. Something, or rather someone had come between them. Someone new, someone fresh, someone with hopes and ideas, someone who might be the one. Squall's one. She appeared that exact day, the day Quistis had chosen as the day of truths. Rinoa Heartilly seemed to the world as the person Squall needed in his life and everyone was thrilled when they slowly started a relationship. But it wasn't Rinoa's part to play. It was hers. At least she thought so for a long time. Everything was set out for them, Quistis and Squall, to make a wonderful life together. They shared a long lost childhood, they shared the same hopes and dreams, they shared a duty as SeeD's, but most importantly, they shared a friendship which came close to love. Had she read too much into it? Hadn't she meant anything to him? 

Quistis couldn't take it anymore. What was meant to be a quiet night of work had turned into a night of soul searching. She realized her life had surrounded around one person and one person only. Squall Leonhart would never be hers, she was strong enough to say that load now. Or was she? 

Quistis got up from the bed and went over to her desk again. Her old schoolbook was still opened on page 38. She quickly tore out the page. His name was shinning, but it wasn't for her. Not anymore. She took a look at her watch. Midnight.

The garden was quiet, not many people was up at this hour, and she was relieved when she didn't meet anyone she knew. As she entered the ball room, another memory came to her. Her own graduation ball. The blonde instructor had hated it. It felt like something was missing. And that something was Squall. 'Another day that was supposed to be a great memory ruined by my obsession with Squall,' she thought annoyed. She wasn't even sure why she was here, she just knew something would happen here, tonight, and she figured something would die. And most likely it was her love for Squall. 

Quistis felt the touch of the paper in her hand as she entered the balcony. It was a clear starry night and the full moon was amazing. It was so low she was surprised the garden didn't crash into it. Suddenly she froze. Two persons were already standing there, watching the beauty of the night. One was Rinoa, the other Squall. Quistis took a step backwards, carefully not to make a sound. She could see Rinoa pointing at a shooting star. Squall smiled his beautiful smile, but the smile wasn't for her. It was for the girl in the blue dress. He took her hand and pulled her into a warm embrace and as their lips met each others, Quistis could feel a single tear run down her check. She took another step backwards and soon she was in the ball room again. The couple on the balcony hadn't noticed her. She leaned against the wall and slid down on the floor with her back still resting against the wall. The twelve years old Quistis had been right when she said Squall was out of her reach. Slowly, the blonde girl tore the paper she still held in her hand into pieces and let them fall to the ground. The Squall Leonhart in her heart was dead and there was a emptiness filling her. Footstep made her look up and two sad blue eyes met two questions eyes. 

"Quistis? Are you alright?"

His soft voice was heartbreaking, but it was comforting in a way too. When she didn't answer, he bent down and lightly touched her face. She turned away.

"Are you okay?" he repeated. 

"I will be," she answered. "I will be." 

_I will hold you can't you see_

_All the things you mean to me_

_Like the flowers and the trees_

_Can we smile eternally_

The End


End file.
